Caves and Twigs

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The name of this blog came from an inappropriate joke during a marching band competition that I'm ashamed to tell. But it still makes me laugh because I'm a bad person.

did-a-dig-down:

RT/AH 30 day challenge: 

Day 4: Fave 4 minecraft let’s play

The first 3 are my fave! Plan G is the best! And then when they found the strong hold. Love those guys and their minecraft let’s play. 

— 3 hours ago with 61 notes

Rizzoli & Isles season 3 gag reel

(Source: evenstars, via emilyxrose92)

— 3 hours ago with 301 notes

readylou:

when you try your best

image

but you don’t succeed

image

(via natvvolff)

— 3 hours ago with 5514 notes
jowiebs:

My date wasnt a huge fan of this movie which is understandable, I guess. There was a lot of pointless things going on. 

For instance (SPOILER ALERT, don’t read if you’re really looking forward to this movie.), in the beginning of the movie, the daughter ,Zoey, has snuck her boyfriend over and they’re just on the floor making out and whatever and eventually he has to leave, of course, so the family can begin lock down for the annual purge.

While all of that was happening, this little boy, whom i assumed to be the son, has like an advanced version of that creepy ass doll from Toys Story 2 and he scares the fuck out of his mother. Point of this scene? i guess to say that that toy existed. Eventually the husband comes home and it’s time for dinner and they have awkward family conversation. It’s really stereotypical like daughter hates dad, dad continues to try to spark conversation with daughter. Son is weird as fuck, awkward, and really innocent. Mother tries to defuse spats that break out between daughter and dad. But eventually dinner is over and it’s time for lock down. They pull down some heavy duty metal slabs over every entrance to the house and then bars and chains ontop of that.

So the daughter decides to be a little cunt bitch and claims she “she rather be miserable in [her] own room.” When she get to her room, she’s immediately tackled onto her bed, with her mouth covered to block the screams. I started thinking damn this movie took off fast, nope it’s just her fuck face boyfriend. They start getting intimate and it starts to get hot and heavy right as the boyfriend claims he can’t “do this” and goes on a rant about how he can’t hide their relationship from her dad and he can’t keep them apart and blah blah blah. He says hes going to go deal with it, and the daughter thinks theyre just going talk. Does she not hear how crazy he sounds on the night of the annual purge? Don’t worry that’s not the end of her fuck shit.

After this they switch over to the son, who is creeping around in his creepy ass toy and gets to the control room which has camera feeds of what’s going on outside and can open the house to the outside world. He notices some random ass black guy with a knife yelling and screaming for help, and you know what this jackass does? Runs to the control room, and lifts all of the metal doors to let in this complete stranger, with a knife I remind you. Anyway, he gets inside, just in time for the father to panic close the door and question who this random is and why this poor excuse for a son let him in, but before he can even get the words out his mouth, her comes Zoey’s boyfriend happy skipping around the corner, pulls out a gun and shoots at daddy dearest. Now how he missed someone standing 10 feet away from him, I’ll never know, but father does not make the same mistake ripping out a gun from the back of his pants, and fires two quick ones into fuck face. He dies at this point you’re thinking what the fuck is the point of this character?

In a this madness, the black man is loose in this house and the daughter just disappears. 
Next things next, That creepy fuck inthe picture aboves comes to the house informing the family that they need to let him and his fellow purgers purge on the poor swine of the country and they had a time limit to turn him over, or his whole family would parish. The next 15-20 minutes consisted of the husband looking for this man and the son, lets just call him Billy because quite frankly, he wasn’t important enough for me to remember his name. Anyway, as I was trying to say, Billy was constantly hiding this man from his family using his creepy ass toy. Eventually Zoey shows up to this toy and tells Billy that she’s fine and shes going to go hide in his secret spot.

Okay bitch, why the fuck are you running away and hiding? Like do you have something to hide orrrr? I mean I just don’t understand thats like….. you’re a fuck nigga.

But anyway she goes to his secret spot and guess whos there…. BLACK MAN! So he holds her hostage right as father comes in and after a lot of commotion and pointlessness, the black man escapes but never you worry, he’s caught, they fight, and eventually he’s tapped to a chair. Right as he’s about to hand over the low life to the purgers, the family somehow changes his mind, and he unties the man, and decided to endanger his entire family. But whatever right? Anywhore that creepy guy gets PISSED calling for his minions to tear down the barracade which they do easily and they entire the house. The father has this badass shotty and just starts blowing bitches away, but he quickly finds himself tangled up with the minions. They all make an attempt to kill him in this intense scene but they like all fail. Like seriously, he had to have taken out atleast half of the gang right there in that like 2 minutes. But like all great heros, he had to take a fall. The lead purger comes in and stabs father in his abdomen, and proceeds to kiss his forehead, which I found especially disturbing.

Fast foward to wife cam one! This stupid woman doesn’t know how to shoot, and misses like an entire clip and finds two of the purgers ontop of her about to stab her, and they drag it out as long as possible too. I mean I’m not skilled assassin but I’m fairly certain it does not take a minute to stab someone. They would later come to regret that decision, when the NEIGHBORS COME TO SAVE THE DAY. They come in save the wife and kill all the original purgers. The wife gathers her dying husband and begins to thank the neighbors BUT NOT SO FAST SUGAR TITS. The neighbors want to kill this family. Plot twist right? Well at this point in the movie, Lily, my date, goes “The black guy is gonna save them” and you know what? she was 100% correct. You think this is confusing? It gets better. She has the oppurtunity to kill these assholes, but noooooooo, she want to live out the rest of the night in peace, so she has them all sit around the dining table where they just stare at each other for six hours, which is where the movie ends.

But there was a part a liked. One of the neighbors tried to take shot gun from the wife. Lol she took the butt of the gun, bust that bitch in the mouth and then slammed her head into the mahogany table, screaming I SAID THERE WOULD BE NO MORE KILLING TONIGHT!!!! lololololololol. Dumb cunt had the nerve to cry.

If there was anything I got from this movie, it’s that Billy is a fuck nigga.

But hey I liked it!

jowiebs:

My date wasnt a huge fan of this movie which is understandable, I guess. There was a lot of pointless things going on.

For instance (SPOILER ALERT, don’t read if you’re really looking forward to this movie.), in the beginning of the movie, the daughter ,Zoey, has snuck her boyfriend over and they’re just on the floor making out and whatever and eventually he has to leave, of course, so the family can begin lock down for the annual purge.
While all of that was happening, this little boy, whom i assumed to be the son, has like an advanced version of that creepy ass doll from Toys Story 2 and he scares the fuck out of his mother. Point of this scene? i guess to say that that toy existed. Eventually the husband comes home and it’s time for dinner and they have awkward family conversation. It’s really stereotypical like daughter hates dad, dad continues to try to spark conversation with daughter. Son is weird as fuck, awkward, and really innocent. Mother tries to defuse spats that break out between daughter and dad. But eventually dinner is over and it’s time for lock down. They pull down some heavy duty metal slabs over every entrance to the house and then bars and chains ontop of that.
So the daughter decides to be a little cunt bitch and claims she “she rather be miserable in [her] own room.” When she get to her room, she’s immediately tackled onto her bed, with her mouth covered to block the screams. I started thinking damn this movie took off fast, nope it’s just her fuck face boyfriend. They start getting intimate and it starts to get hot and heavy right as the boyfriend claims he can’t “do this” and goes on a rant about how he can’t hide their relationship from her dad and he can’t keep them apart and blah blah blah. He says hes going to go deal with it, and the daughter thinks theyre just going talk. Does she not hear how crazy he sounds on the night of the annual purge? Don’t worry that’s not the end of her fuck shit.
After this they switch over to the son, who is creeping around in his creepy ass toy and gets to the control room which has camera feeds of what’s going on outside and can open the house to the outside world. He notices some random ass black guy with a knife yelling and screaming for help, and you know what this jackass does? Runs to the control room, and lifts all of the metal doors to let in this complete stranger, with a knife I remind you. Anyway, he gets inside, just in time for the father to panic close the door and question who this random is and why this poor excuse for a son let him in, but before he can even get the words out his mouth, her comes Zoey’s boyfriend happy skipping around the corner, pulls out a gun and shoots at daddy dearest. Now how he missed someone standing 10 feet away from him, I’ll never know, but father does not make the same mistake ripping out a gun from the back of his pants, and fires two quick ones into fuck face. He dies at this point you’re thinking what the fuck is the point of this character?
In a this madness, the black man is loose in this house and the daughter just disappears.

Next things next, That creepy fuck inthe picture aboves comes to the house informing the family that they need to let him and his fellow purgers purge on the poor swine of the country and they had a time limit to turn him over, or his whole family would parish. The next 15-20 minutes consisted of the husband looking for this man and the son, lets just call him Billy because quite frankly, he wasn’t important enough for me to remember his name. Anyway, as I was trying to say, Billy was constantly hiding this man from his family using his creepy ass toy. Eventually Zoey shows up to this toy and tells Billy that she’s fine and shes going to go hide in his secret spot.
Okay bitch, why the fuck are you running away and hiding? Like do you have something to hide orrrr? I mean I just don’t understand thats like….. you’re a fuck nigga.
But anyway she goes to his secret spot and guess whos there…. BLACK MAN! So he holds her hostage right as father comes in and after a lot of commotion and pointlessness, the black man escapes but never you worry, he’s caught, they fight, and eventually he’s tapped to a chair. Right as he’s about to hand over the low life to the purgers, the family somehow changes his mind, and he unties the man, and decided to endanger his entire family. But whatever right? Anywhore that creepy guy gets PISSED calling for his minions to tear down the barracade which they do easily and they entire the house. The father has this badass shotty and just starts blowing bitches away, but he quickly finds himself tangled up with the minions. They all make an attempt to kill him in this intense scene but they like all fail. Like seriously, he had to have taken out atleast half of the gang right there in that like 2 minutes. But like all great heros, he had to take a fall. The lead purger comes in and stabs father in his abdomen, and proceeds to kiss his forehead, which I found especially disturbing.
Fast foward to wife cam one! This stupid woman doesn’t know how to shoot, and misses like an entire clip and finds two of the purgers ontop of her about to stab her, and they drag it out as long as possible too. I mean I’m not skilled assassin but I’m fairly certain it does not take a minute to stab someone. They would later come to regret that decision, when the NEIGHBORS COME TO SAVE THE DAY. They come in save the wife and kill all the original purgers. The wife gathers her dying husband and begins to thank the neighbors BUT NOT SO FAST SUGAR TITS. The neighbors want to kill this family. Plot twist right? Well at this point in the movie, Lily, my date, goes “The black guy is gonna save them” and you know what? she was 100% correct. You think this is confusing? It gets better. She has the oppurtunity to kill these assholes, but noooooooo, she want to live out the rest of the night in peace, so she has them all sit around the dining table where they just stare at each other for six hours, which is where the movie ends.
But there was a part a liked. One of the neighbors tried to take shot gun from the wife. Lol she took the butt of the gun, bust that bitch in the mouth and then slammed her head into the mahogany table, screaming I SAID THERE WOULD BE NO MORE KILLING TONIGHT!!!! lololololololol. Dumb cunt had the nerve to cry.
If there was anything I got from this movie, it’s that Billy is a fuck nigga.
But hey I liked it!
— 3 hours ago with 9 notes
#all of this is so true 

foulmouthedliberty:

queer-punk:

WE NEED FEMINISM BECAUSE WHEN LANCE ARMSTRONG GOT CANCER AND LOST A TESTICLE IT WAS ALL ABOUT HIS HEALTH AND HOW INSPIRATIONAL HE WAS BUT WHEN ANGELINA JOLIE GETS A DOUBLE MASTECTOMY TO PREVENT HERSELF FROM GETTING CANCER, IT’S ALL ABOUT HOW SHE WON’T BE A SEX SYMBOL ANYMORE AND HOW MEN ARE OFFENDED CAUSE SHE WON’T BE AN OBJECT FOR THEM 

This.

(via 0utbox)

— 3 hours ago with 94290 notes
circlejerkcommander:

i am safe and ready for the sex

Why does his shirt say “fat Jesus”

circlejerkcommander:

i am safe and ready for the sex

Why does his shirt say “fat Jesus”

(via natvvolff)

— 3 hours ago with 18534 notes

punkbread:

*snorts lines of mac n cheese powder*

(via natvvolff)

— 3 hours ago with 1098 notes

crewnex:

shavingryansprivates:

textposter:

i can’t believe it

this is my first time ever hearing gangnam style and wow what a way to experience a new thing

this bird loves gangnam style more than i’ve loved anything in my life

(Source: zeppelis, via babebraham)

— 4 hours ago with 18286 notes

Shit I've Said: Part II

Me:your cock block reign of terror has come to an end
Me 5min later:the fuck why did I say that
Me:Winston has a huge hand
— 4 hours ago with 2 notes
90s Animal Planet:Animals are cool, kids! They can be your friends! But watch out, some are dangerous! Ooh, watch Jeff Corwin handle the most venomous snake in Africa! Aw, look at the tiger babies! Oh, let's learn about conserving the environment! Remember kids, we must respect this planet, because it's the animals' home as well!
2013 Animal Planet:ANIMALS WILL FUCKING KILL YOU. And guess what? PARASITES WILL TOO! Yes I know those aren't really animals, I guess. OH YEAH HERE'S SOME PSEUDO-SCIENCE ABOUT BIGFOOT. He's an animal too, right? WATCH THIS WOMAN GET EATEN BY HER PET CHIMPANZEE. ANIMALS ARE SCARY, KIDS. BE CAUTIOUS AROUND YOUR PET LIZARD OK. oh look kittens!
~~~~~
90s History Channel:Here kids, we're gonna talk about this society today. History from all time periods and all countries. Isn't this stuff fascinating? Watch us dig up a tomb!
Early 2000's History Channel:So there's this guy named Hitler. And he's pretty bad. Let us tell you how bad Hitler is. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. More Hiltler. Hey have you heard about this guy named Hitler?
2013 History Channel:Aliens moonshiners aliens rednecks aliens pawnshops aliens aliens aliens hey have we mentioned aliens because aliens
— 4 hours ago with 41936 notes

chicken-dinosaurs:

mausspace:

methelorac:

theinturnet:

Diabetes here I come!

What the

god damn it

why must we play god

That’s not a chocolate bar, that’s a bloody chocolate brick

(Source: theinturnetexplorer, via emilyxrose92)

— 4 hours ago with 209320 notes